Christmas memo: I will attempt to return the favor of a Christmas card if by chance we were not on each others list. If I haven’t heard from you or you from me in twenty years, chances are we don’t know if each other is still alive. If we are exchanging presents(and this is for family) and you ask me what I want (which is usually something simple) and you don’t get it but instead get me another shirt, don’t look for me to wear it. If I attend your party, it’s because I really do like you. I have wine and snacks at my house but if you are a friend and I come, count me a friend.  If you see me at a holiday party, please don’t say “let’s do lunch”. You will never call. Don’t tell me I haven’t changed in 20 years. God is listening and he does not like liars close to his son’s birthday. If I am in the proper lane but not going fast enough and you swerve by me and shoot the bird, I will not reciprocate. At least you won’t see it. I will do it under the dash as it is the season to be jolly. If you are wrapping a purchase for me, please do not tell me it will be ready in an hour. Instead, say two hours, that way you will have enough time and I will not be ticked off. Do not offer me fruitcake. I don’t care where you got it and how good it is and “I don’t know what I have been missing”, I don’t want it. Don’t eat it. Never did. Never will. One more thing. Merry Christmas.